Recently I went for a CT scan and the result threw me off.
Three blocked arteries. All of which are over 50% blocked.
Naturally I was devastated and the “Why” questions started to creep in.
“Why is this happening? Why me? Why is it so unfair? I have been exercising regularly. Walking 10,000 steps every day. Why this must be a mistake?”
But CT scan results don’t lie.
When the turmoil of “Whys” eventually died down, I settled into the imminent reality of an angiogram/angioplasty and began asking the “What” questions.
What is God’s purpose for me in this situation? What is the “good” in Romans 8:28 God is working out for me? What did He promised to do?
For He Himself has said, ”I will never leave you nor forsake you.” So we may boldly say, “The Lord is my helper, I will not fear” (Hebrews 13:5b-6a).
I realize asking the right question is so vital to our faith and response to bad news.
Asking the wrong questions, like the “Whys” will eat away our peace, erode our hope and decimate our faith.
But asking the right questions, like the “Whats” will help bring a restful outlook and a purposeful perspective.
I am thankful by His grace and Spirit that I was able to move from “Why is God letting this happen?” to “What is God teaching me in this?”
Indeed He is teaching me many things. Things like, “Do you walk the talk?” It is so easy to preach, “God is in control.” But when the scary situation comes, do you still believe what you preached.
Do you embody what you always prayed for the sick, “Jesus is in you, for you and with you”?
Do you believe God can turn any life-threatening circumstance for His glory? Like He did for Lazarus when He said, “This sickness is not unto death but for the glory of God, that the Son of God may be glorified through it” (John 11:4).
The restful outlook and purposeful perspective led me to give thanks to God.
I saw this episode of my life as evidence of God’s love. Even though I am feeling fine with no symptoms yet my doctor insisted on a CT scan during my annual medical checkup. I want to believe the block arteries were not a chance discovery but definitely the divine providence of God.
Being physically fit and active, I was so prone to think I am quite invincible and invulnerable to all sickness and diseases. Not any more. I am confronted with the stark reality of mortality, fragility of life and the need of God’s daily mercies. I am brought to my knees in prayerful humility.
All said I am going to put my trust in the Lord, not the surgeon. You can be sure I will be singing, “Lord, I give You my heart” all the way to the operating theatre.