In September 2004 Mary Grams lost her diamond engagement ring while weeding the garden on her family farm.
She searched for it “high and low” but couldn’t find it. She was totally devastated. She cried several days thinking she would never ever find that treasured ring given by her husband in 1951.
She dared not tell her husband for fear that he might be angry and upset with her for losing the precious jewellery.
She kept mum about it and decided to buy a cheaper replacement. Her husband never noticed the difference.
It was her kept secret.
Thirteen years later Mary’s daughter-in-law found the long-lost ring while harvesting carrots on the farm.
While she was pulling the carrots, she noticed one of them looked strange. On closer examination, she saw the misshapen carrot has a ring wrapped around it. It seemed the carrot had grown straight through the ring, which looked a little like a finger wearing it.
Mrs Mary Grams, now aged 84 is delighted to get back her ring.
But she has one regret though. She wished she had owned up and told the truth to her beloved husband.
The precious ring lost was found. But the secret kept became a chance lost to come clean with her husband, who died five years ago.
Imagine the haunting pain of a long held secret.
The Psalmist knows this all too well.
“When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long” (Psalm 32:3).
Still so many tell themselves that “a secret kept can be better than the consequences of a secret known.”
But secrets kept are intimacy lost. Don’t risk it.
An intimate marriage can only be built on the foundation of openness and honesty.
- Do you conceal things you bought from your spouse?
- Do you permit your spouse to read your email and text messages when asked?
- Do you hide friendships with other people from your spouse?
When you start hiding and keeping things from your spouse, it is a sure sign something real is lost.